It is said that when a door closes, another door opens. Right now it more feels like all doors are closed. And I feel like sh*t.
I just ended a relationship of more than 3 years. And I feel terrible because of it. I do still love him, but as a friend, not as a lover. It has been like that for a few weeks, maybe months and it broke me apart.

It hurts, to fight yourself, your feelings. When it all started he was the man I pictured my life with. And I still want to keep him in my life, and that is what I tried for the past few weeks. And it didn’t work. For him yes, for me no. I am so sorry.


*small update, we decided to try again though in June 2015 we definitely split up. I still love him but I first need to love myself. I can not be in a relationship, at least not fully committed. It is not fair to keep struggling together if I know that I can not function like this.