Current state of mind: a grey zone.
The past few days feel like a roller coaster.
Important, scary, decisions to be made while it feels that time is running out (though that might be an illusion, after all time is relative). In addition to that I am starting to grasp how much pain and frustration I am still carrying around. It hurts so much that sometimes I just want to give up and disappear. To just dissolve into nothing.
I feel paralyzed, by fear, by pain. I do not know where to turn to, who to ask for help. I do not want to ask someone to help. I do not want to be a burden, to take away someones precious time.
Because I do not feel like I am important, why should I be?
It is just me.
Technically it would be part #4 but since I have not blogged about previous trips, this will be #1.
One of the perks of my new jobs is that I get to travel. And thus am I now writing this blog in Cork, Ireland.
From Amsterdam Airport (Schiphol) with Aer Lingus it takes about an hour to fly to ORK (Cork Airport) and from the Airport you need about 10 minutes by car (taxi = about 20 euros) to arrive at the city center.
I am not sure yet what to think of Cork. The city has some nice streets (and nice murals!) but overall the houses are not well maintained and the city feels dirty. The people are nice though and I do feel safe while walking even trough deserted streets. However they are probable deserted because it is Sunday and not because I am in the wrong part of town.
What I like here is that there are colorful houses. It helps to disregard the rainy weather. Luckily it is no heavy downpour just some drizzling spray. Also there are some nice old buildings and the obligatory few churches.
Shopping is okay, there is not much but it could have been worse. Though you should not visit Cork for a shopping spree since prices here are higher than in The Netherlands or Germany.