Current state of mind: a grey zone.
The past few days feel like a roller coaster.
Important, scary, decisions to be made while it feels that time is running out (though that might be an illusion, after all time is relative). In addition to that I am starting to grasp how much pain and frustration I am still carrying around. It hurts so much that sometimes I just want to give up and disappear. To just dissolve into nothing.
I feel paralyzed, by fear, by pain. I do not know where to turn to, who to ask for help. I do not want to ask someone to help. I do not want to be a burden, to take away someones precious time.
Because I do not feel like I am important, why should I be?
It is just me.