Busy Life

Hi guys!

I have a lot of things I want to blog about, but somehow I don’t have the energy, or the time. Summer is over, sadly, and I feel like I have had no summer at all except for 2 weeks of holiday. So, what have I been doing the past few months?
Firstly, I have finished everything of my first internship and that kept me busy until the end of July. I am so happy that that is finished now.

Secondly, I applied and qualified for another internship, at a different research facility. I wanted to start with that internship in November, but that did not work out. Also, some things changed and I got permission to do my thesis at the same facility where I am doing my second internship which resulted in an earlier start date. Last Monday, the 15th of September, was the start date and wow, I have gotten so much information basically thrown at me. If that keeps going on like that, I’ll be very, ver busy for the next few months. But I will be getting paid for it, which is nice. Though it is not much but hey, money is money so I can’t complain (especially because the majority of internships is unpaid in the Netherlands). And my supervisor is very chaotic, always busy but very nice ánd we have the same music taste so that is awesome!

Thirdly, I have started with an internet-based course on Pharmaceutical Bioinformatics offered by Uppsala University. It is not very time consuming but as I have to do it after a busy day at my internship or after work, it is quite challenging. For now it is doable, I just make stupid mistakes as I misread things because I am so tired. But at least I get moderate to good grades so I am happy with that. Luckily it are only two lectures a week and 1 assignment. But it will continue till the end of October so that is quite a while. Especially because I will have another course in October (2 days a week) and a big exam for my part-time job.

So, basically I have no free time. I’ll be flying and running in circles for the next few months. I do miss the writing, but I need to focus on keeping myself happy. I am focussing on a better skin-routine as my skin is still very troubled, and I am still focussing on a better sport-regime. My holiday consisted of hiking in Austria, and I really miss that. The amount of activity was very high and that felt so good! But now, I lack the time and challenging tracks. I try to keep up a small sport-regime for my arms (push-ups and dip-downs) and stomach (alias, getting that six-pack back, I know it’s there). But that is pretty much all my extra exercise. Oh and I try to drink more water, because I drink far too less.
So, that was my update for you 🙂



Hi there!

I know it’s been a while since my last post. The reason is that since I’ve stopped blogging every day, it is totally out of my system. But here I am again, with an update of the past few months.

First I have finished my 9-months internship and I am looking forward to 10 days of holiday in Austria. After that I will start my second year of my masters degree and I will be busy full-time again.
Secondly, I am still not sporting enough. I don’t do much on my own and I am lazy as fuck. Though I am steady with my weight (actually I don’t even care about my kilo’s unless they are over a certain number), my shape is getting.. wider? I need to focus more on moving my legs and I should start again with either the 7-minute workout or the ab-challenge.

For the rest, nothing is changed much. I still work part-time, I still have the same boyfriend (going strong for more than three years now :)) and I am still living at home. Wiehoe.


Socially Awkward..

Yes, I admit it. I am socially awkward and I have been that for a long time now.
I am not sure when it started but I think that it is linked with my history of being bullied. My history of being ruined, I have lost a lot of my (self-)confidence. I have lost my trust in people and I became lonely. By now I am so used to being lonely that I can’t open up to others. Whenever I try, I say the wrong things. I hurt people unintentionally. I ruin my life amongst that of others.

I am the quiet one, the one that is always forgotten. I am never missed. And have given up the hope to keep on trying. My friends have vanished, I have only aquintances left. Nobody knows my fears and dreams and hopes and nobody cares.

I am lonely.


Hi guys,

I decided to stop with my blog. At least for a while. I started blogging with a lot of ideas and a whole plan of how I wanted it to turn out. I wanted to blog about ingredients, about truth, about science. But I have no time to do that. The result is this blog, a blog which is a mix between lifestyle, random stuff, mindstyle, beauty and personal things.

This is not how I wanted it to be.

I don’t want to keep pushing myself everyday just to put a blog online. It would be fine if my quality was a lot better, but it is not. I don’t want to pollute the web with any more crappy posts.

I’m sorry.

Something personal (4)

I have mentioned it before, and I will mention it over and over again. It is something that affects me every day of my life. I am not born with it, but I have it since my childhood. What it is? A sensitive skin.

It began somewhere during my childhood, I don’t even remember. It itched, and thus I scratched, and scratched. And I kept scratching until I bled though it did not relieve the itch. My skin was also flaky, red, swollen and simply very irritated. It was horrible.
I managed to get it under control with some medical treatment: cortisol crème. It helped enough to calm it down but cortisol itself is not the most pleasant substance to handle. But together with ultra fatty crèmes from the pharmacy, it helped my skin to become less irritated. Back then it were mostly my legs and arms. It was unpleasant but I discovered a few years later that it could be worse.

I never had much acne, due to my dry skin. It was too dry to even think about pimples. Sure, I had some accidentally occurring ones, but I had a quite smooth face. Except for the flakes which came with dry skin, and the red, irritated area’s which now and then occurred without evident reason. I still don’t really know what sets my skin off. I just live with the consequences of an unknown irritation.

I have been by a dermatologist, I even have seen a few. But they could not help me, or they did not care enough to really investigate time in me. I did have an allergy-test but it came back completely negative. I might be sensitive to animal hair and dust mites but I think that is very unlikely. I have been around horse for about 12 years on a regular basis, my skin problems did not occur on a regular basis. And they were not necessarily worse after contact with animals. And dust mites.. maybe but most of the time that would lead to a stronger reaction than some skin problems.

I do have noticed that I cannot stand certain shower gels and crèmes. And I try to avoid strongly perfumed good as much as possible. That is also one of the reasons why I bought Jetske’s Skin book. But until now it has not helped me any further.
I came from a super dry skin, and I can deal with that. But now? Now it is either irritated or just weird. The best part is that it isn’t dry any more but now I have clogged pores. The reason why that is weird is that I haven’t changed my routine. I know that skin needs a time to adjust (mostly around 1 month). And that was fine, another month or so passed without problems and I was happy. Somewhere around that time the problems started again.

I really don’t understand my skin anymore, I have ruled out make-up, my skincare routine should be fine as well, I don’t use anything new, I do not use perfumed stuff on my face (or at least not on a regular basis). But still, my skin seems to be unhappy. I even looked at my diet but that should be fine, and it is not that different as it was before. Only less sugar which should have a beneficial effect if it should have any effect at all.

Does anyone know what to do? I really don’t know it anymore!


Something personal (3)

Hi everyone!

Time to tell you something more about myself. You already know about my ‘perfect’ past (wish it was) and my anosmia. Today I want to tell you something that troubles me everyday though apparently I am the only one who really sees the problem.

I am not social. Really, I am not. I almost never know something to talk about. I am not good at keeping conversations going. I don’t dare to speak up in a group. 98% of the time I just sit and listen. I am quiet. I am an observer. I listen. And I think a lot but I just can’t find the right words or timing to bring it out. And when I do, I am often harsh and it is seen as an attack but I did not meant it like that. But by then it is too late.
When I am alone with someone it is better, though not always. There are some persons which seem to never stop talking, and that helps. And when there is a good subject to talk about it is also easier. But I somehow never am able to think of good subjects.
It is not that I don’t want to talk. Really, you can ask me almost anything, every time and I will answer. Well, I probably won’t give an answer to everything but I will share my thoughts or opinion. In small groups I even speak up, sometimes. But more often I do not because it doesn’t matter, they don’t need my opinion.

The reason for this behaviour, or at least the reason I think it is, is that I am scared. I am scared to be seen as weird, as the quiet girl, or as the offensive one. I do have a strong opinion and I hold firm on to my beliefs until proven otherwise. Short: I am stubborn as hell! But often I am right.

But why do I care? Well, I think it is the reason that I have very few friends. I do know a lot of people, and some I do see as friends. But most of them only see on birthdays or once a year or so. They never ask me out, and I don’t ask them out. And somehow I think they often forget about me. For example, my best friend (or the one I see as best friend) forgot my birthday two years in a row. The last two years to be exact. She knows me for over 10 years now, and she forgets my birthday. I never forgot hers.

I am isolated, partially my own fault I think. But the others also apparently don’t care much.

How is your relationship with your friends?



Hi there!

One of the current hypes is wheatgrass. It is said to be very nutritional and healthy. When you search for it on Google, you find all kinds of positive marketing about it. There are even Youtube-videos on how to grow wheatgrass yourself!But what is actually known or researched about it?

When I search for wheatgrass on Pubmed.org (international databank of scientific research articles) and then specify for humams I find mainly articles which studied the effect of wheatgrass supplemention in sick people. In vitro it is proven that wheatgrass can stimulate immune cells. This could be beneficial, as in better immune system, or malignant as in over-active immune system which causes an allergic reaction or any other potential side effect.
Another study showed an in vitro effect of wheatgrass on a cancer cell-line. This was done by adding wheatgrass directly to the cells and is therefore not comparable to a daily situation. You don’t inject a wheatgrass dose, you drink it. Thus it gets digested and thus is this study interesting but worthless for scientific proof for any beneficial characteristics of wheatgrass.
Conclusion? There is no scientific research publicated which shows clear benefits from supplementing you diet with wheatgrass.

http://www.detuinen.nl/superfood/16077-jacob-hooy-tarwegras-poeder.htmlSource image

I said before that it was thought to be very nutritious. That is not true. It is even claimed on the packaging but when you look on the nutritional values per 100 gram there are no vitamins listed. Only zink and magnesium are listed as present. Wikipedia states that the nutritional value of wheatgrass is comparable to that of Spinach and Broccoli. (I am not sure whether wikipedia is trustworthy or not but most of the time the English version is okay.)

Overall, it seems that wheatgrass is just a hype. Nothing extraordinary. It seems not to be malignant so it is considered safe to supplement it. I am currently testing it as well (the one shown in the image above). It is one of the best selling products of my work and I was curious what all the fuzz was about. The one prominent effect I am noticing is that it stimulates my intestines. Other than that I did not notice any huge energy-increase or any other improvement. On the contrary, I have been taking it for 10 days now and I am starting to get sick. Thus so far it has not improved my immune system at all. I will keep taking it until it is used up, when I notice anything special I will add it to this article. For now my advice is to skip this hype. It is unnecessary!

What is your opinion on wheatgrass and other nutritional supplements?